CINCINNATI—Surprised to discover that the once-beloved job perk had lost its appeal over the years, local barber Mike Grossman told reporters Tuesday that he was no longer even that excited by bringing home free bags of hair at the end of the day. Now some egghead in a lab is screaming "Five's crazy? Maybe we should just ride in Bic's wake and make pens.
DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it. " Well, perhaps he'd be more comfortable in the labs at Norelco, working on fucking electrics.
TAMPA, FL—Saying that sitting in the same boardroom together still feels completely surreal, former Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter told reporters Thursday that he had finally fulfilled a lifelong dream of starting a business venture with Jeb Bush. Hey, if I'm the only one who'll take risks, I'm sure as hell happy to hog all the glory when the five-blade razor becomes the shaving tool for the U.
LOS ANGELES—Weighing the pros and cons of the palm-muted low-E-string lick, Metallica’s 12-member board of directors reportedly debated Wednesday whether lead guitarist Kirk Hammet’s newest riff might negatively impact the band’s shareholder value.
You met her at a music store in the smooth jazz section of all places (don’t worry no one’s judging you). You smiled, she smiled back and that was all it took. Member Login Browse Chat Magazine Video Blogs Groups Help x Please enter your Username and Password Username: Password: Remember me Forgot Login Info?| Join for Free Search Our Hot Members I am/We are a...It is Free to post & browse 550,000 active members.We have been in the online dating business for over 11 years and has achieved tremendous success bringing younger women and older men together! These younger women are looking for their age gap love romance. AUGUSTA, ME—In a dark harbinger of troubled times to come, recently hired office manager Mel Pritchard reportedly placed a new assortment of tea bags in Greydon Media’s kitchen drawer Friday, the first terrifying signal of what to expect from her regime. Someone put it in the bathroom: I want to wipe my ass with it. I don't care if they have to cram the fifth blade in perpendicular to the other four, just do it!