That first real relationship would be one of many where my black womanhood became a liability.
Where it meant I was somehow not worthy of love or commitment. “I can’t really date a black girl seriously,” a Jewish guy I went out on a date with during college explained over drinks, “My family definitely wants me to marry a nice Jewish girl, but I’m open to having some fun.” He was one of the many non-Black men I tried to date while in college in New York City, after having a hard time finding available young black men to date on my college campus, since black women have far outpaced Black men in college enrollment by a ratio of 2:1.
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The stats were stacked up against me and I always knew it.
If background isn’t important but dating someone who doesn’t value good food and great music is a no-no, don’t worry.
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To piggy back off of that point, many of us men especially - in the African American community are slowly becoming more and more apathetic to concepts of relationships and marriage, let alone entertaining courtships with someone with the same color skin.
Percentages of Black men and women dating outside their races have increased significantly over the last decade.
In one of my first “real” relationships, my then high school boyfriend– a popular jock– cheated on me with a White girl.